I sit here wondering why. Why does this always happen. Why do i always feel like this time after time. Wtf did i do to you to deserve this. Why am i never enough. Never enough for anyone. Fuck this, all of this. why whole fucking life. Im tired of feeling this shity. Im done with it. Why do i keep just staying with it and keep taking it and keep letting myself feel like this. i just want to scream. i want to stop feeling like this.

I need her so bad. im dying here without her. i cant even describe how bad this timing is. i miss her so much and need her more now then ever. i need someone to hold me cus i cant hold myself up anymore. its just too much.

So much inside, so much i want to say. ive wanted to write so many poems in the past week or two. i cant find the words tho, i cant put my feelings down. i cant let it out even tho i need to. idk wat to do.

There's a lot of shit going on im my life and the lives of ppl i care about. The most important person in the world to me has more shit than anyone else i know. I have stuff of my own but really none of that matters. All that matters is that shes happy. Compared to that everything else combined is nothing. I know we'll make it through it and be happy again and ill be by her side every second to kiss her whens shes sad and hold her when she cries. I love her so much and through thick and thin I will never stop.

Im happy. I feel good. Things are ok now, things are better. I know its a new start, a new beginning. I love shona so much. She makes my life good. She may not be perfect, but she is perfect for me. Life will get better from here on out. And I'll be happy with shona for the rest of my life.